Jason Shawartzman, and Craig lives in Calgary!

I think I love Jason Schwartzman. Now I know I know nothing about him but I think I love him. Its a habit of mine to develop weird fascinations with people I know absolutely nothing about. It's not often a celebrity, sometimes it's the guy at the ticket booth but there really is no rhyme or reason to my haphazard selection in lust. I rarely feel romantic towards anyone so when I think I might have found someone with the potential to rouse and impress me I get anxious to explore the possibilities. I get way ahead of myself most times and end up coming off as an imbecile. Half the time I come out on the other end wondering what the hell I saw in that person in the first place. If I ever met Jason Schwartzman in person I would probably say something stupid because I think I love him even though I know I don't love him. oh how my mind stumbles sometimes. 

I find it funny how attraction works. I can look at two people from across a room and  inherently know which one I would be more compatible with. Without a word being spoken! I probably don't stand alone in this prowess... and I can safely chalk my loneliness up to this state of mind. Not to say I am always lonely as I have tons of amazing friends a great family and lots to be thankful for but I reckon I might never experience an affair of the heart. I will die alone. Men bore me. Unless its Jason Schawartzman. 

I went to an Aussie bar last night a few blocks away from my place and got well oiled for a small price. 20 dollars all you can drink for 2 hours. Its my new fave watering hole but I certainly think it wise to leave my 20's at home...lets just say it felt like college all over again hugging my toilet bowl in a dress and high heels. I woke up feeling great... that is most important. The best part of the night was telling the bartender I was famous and making him feel foolish for not recognizing me. I got free shots, a bunch of stares and a phone number out of it all. I wonder if i'll have to come clean when I go back? After all, I will be famous one day so it's an innocent lie.

I also woke up and called Telus to bitch about my phone bill. See, I admit...it's all my fault the bill was so high, I used my phone out of the country which is stupid and I knew full well I should have called much earlier... but the trick is... don't let Telus know this. I somehow managed to convince them that it was their fault and my bill is being cut in half. I love words. I can mix them out and spit them out so perfectly sometimes. Just like that I saved myself from a considerable loss to some silly phone company. The guy on the phone was dumbstruck. I was nice about it too... thats the clencher, everyone comes out unscathed.  I think he was new on the job because he started talking to me as though he was my next door neighbor giving me traveling advice and updating me on the american phone companies with the best service. I know he lives in Calgary. Last time I checked I thought it was disclosed information to tell the customer where you live? Whatever, Thanks for the undeserved discount Craig... have fun snowboarding this weekend.

As for me...I am just sitting in my room listening to the hustle and bustle of new york out my windowing wondering what it is that makes the world spin? maybe one day we'll discover this giant finer tip piercing the earth? For now... i'm going to embrace gravity and enjoy the warmth of my shower. I'm certainly not going to enjoy the pressure...takes me half an hour to get all the soap out of my hair. I should start collecting the water in pots so i can just dump it on my head on the days im short for time....

im rambling...

off to ikea.... Jason Shwartzman for president!