Day 1

Day 1...

Moms are always right. that is an unassailable fact! They have this paranormal sense of right and wrong...a 6th sense, where they can literally predict the future. My Mom told me I should get to bed early the night before my flight despite the fact that my flight happens to be New Years Day. (happy new years)...It's as though she knew for certain something would go awry. I didn't listen, partied like it was new years eve and needless to say I am sitting in the washington DC airport on an empty turning stomach dreading the moment I am called to board the connecting flight...I don't enjoy flying... And wow...just as i typed those very words a lovely woman has directed all new york bound passengers to board...thats me :)
here I go...

1:45 p.m...I made it...currently in new york after a nice mellow landing. Balanced all 50 tons of my baggage on my shoulders and took a 45 $ cab to my apartment. With the exchange i probably ended up paying the man 145$. My mother would cry if she saw me right now. I am not particularly gifted in the "written illustration" department but i think i can probably paint the picture in a few easy sentences. Basically, I'm sitting in a 95% empty bedroom in a very small unattractive apartment. I have no bed so have instead laid down a tiny mattress to take me through the night. I am curled up in the corner in jogging pants and a sweater (hood up), basking in the glow of my laptop. I have nothing but clothes, shoes and a towel for a pillow. I didn't consider that today is new years day and nearly ALL the stores are closed. Thank god I am exhausted enough to sleep standing up otherwise i don't think I could make it through the night like this. It's such contrary living quarters in comparison to that of Ottawa. I took my adorable apartment for granted. that's here nor there. I should be excited... I landed in New York and literally shoveled food in my mouth the moment i stepped off the United Express. I bought some mexican salad from the airport in Washington on a whim but didn't have time or a fork to eat it with so by the time i finally made it to JFK my stomach was so empty i put off baggage claim and mowed down like a hawk on a carcass. I didn't eat much of it because it was absolutely disgusting compared to the delicious home cooked meal my girlfriends and i ate the night before (thanks Casey) but this is my life now. No more bed of roses. Nothing in new york is as glamorous as everyone is led to believe. This city is cold hard living. Lots of run down buildings, garbage and unusual inhabitants. My block looks as though it had all the character rung out of it like water out of a wet towel. it's not a very pretty street and I dont see myself using the elevator on a regular basis...it's a death wish! When I pulled up to 629 there was a man and a lady rummaging through the garbage on either side of my door step..lot of introspection started happening and a flow to my tear ducts that felt almost impossible to head. I cried the moment i sat down in my apartment and my traveling came to a an official stop. Perturbed at the sight of the place and lack of familiarity I started text msging and calling everyone I knew back home to feel connected to myself again, if only for a moment. I looked around and panicked...I started actually talking to myself. "Your fine Jena... you'll be okay...get it together...at least your not the one rummaging through the garbage....just think MUSIC...is only music now". Little personal pep talk. Am I crazy?
I didnt know what to do or where to go once my bags were off my shoulder so I hopped in a cab and did the only thing that seemed logical (seemed=keyword)... i headed towards Jessicas apartment. Uptown for me is like that little warm patch of water you sometimes find in an ice cold pool. It's warming and familiar and right now that is what i crave most. Unfortnately Jessica is out of the country (and i knew this days ago but denied it at first) so I redirected my cab to port authority. 25 dollars later i found myself in times square buying a metro card. I know the only way to learn my routes again is to toss myself on a train and figure it out by force. I consulted my memory, got on the 6 train headed downtown... Astor place came, I got off...wandered the neighborhood... bought a cappucino for no reason and then unthinkingly went in a deli and bought a banana. After all I had not eaten since the unappealing salad...i was STARVING. I never think rationally when i'm strained and in a state. my thoughts all collide and make mush. I ate half the banana and realized i dont even really like bananas. I am hungry as i sit here... but for now i just want sleep. I discovered some cool shops and restaurants that i am excited to go to tomorrow. Hopefully i can get some things for this barren room. A few deep breaths and a good nights sleep and i think i'll be okay. After all this is day 1 and day 1 away from home is always the hardest. Tomorrow I will rise with new ambition,new ideas and hopefully a new mattress. I see movies.net is playing 7 pounds... I will watch it and pray for sleep. This mattress is hard and i'm FREEZING...Let the adventure begin!