haggard old ladies

You know we all spend a lot of time worrying about other peoples lives instead of our own. Okay, maybe not "we all"...maybe just me? I have this terrible habit of wondering what other people are up to. I watch people in coffee shops and on the train and I try to imagine where they are going and what their lives consist of. I usually imagine they have a life of great substance and affluence, but the reality of the reality IS...we're all starving for something we don't have. A small percentage of us can attest to being TRULY and wholly satisfied with our lives. That's not to say many of us aren't happy because happiness as I always say is simply a state of mind and happiness can be churned out from absolutely nothing...but many of us long for more. It's tough to dream something up and believe that it can be transformed into something real so we conform to tradition instead. We are constrained behind unnoticed societal boundaries that typically lead us into lives of comfort rather than meaningfulness. This is a generality. I do understand some build happiness out of comfort and that is all they need or want... I actually admire those people. I only WISH I could be content in conventionality but I'm cursed with this inquisitive desire to expand and explore. I do fear there will come a time where the weight of the world finally pulls me under, where I realize I am fighting for something far more powerful than I, but until then I fight!

I am revamping my myspace page. Actually, I personally am not revamping but a very sweet girl from a great record company responded to my email and offered to do it for me. I feel really lucky that she is interested in my music and what I am doing and that she is willing to take the time out of her life to help me in mine. She does the online marketing so its a good contact. I am excited to get a new myspace that actually looks legitimate. I have also been working on potential album covers and so far am coming out with some cool abstract ideas. I even went to the MET today and bee lined to the modern art wing for some inspiration. For some reason I felt too exhausted to go through the whole museum so all the ancient Greek sculptures I had to maze through only annoyed me. was NOT interested in the mechanics of rolling a human body in cloth to rot in a tomb. Maybe another day. Here are some of my faves.

I hopped on a bus headed towards my village and GOT LUCKYYYYY... A haggard looking lady got on the bus and to my entertainment and surprise she went absolutely ballistic. She sat alone and went on a MASSIVE very LOUD rant about the inequality of life in new york city and the unjustified increase in her rent by the Jewish people. She didn't use the word Jewish people, she had a more obtuse and rude term but I listened very carefully. I tried to record some of it with my camera. The video wont be anything but terrible angles of my face because I didn't want to be obvious but pay attention to the audio. You can hear this lady go on a tirade into thin air. Everyone was laughing to one another in disbelief. If you listen hard enough you can hear her use a derogatory reference to Jewish people ("seedy jews") right at the beginning. Crazyyyy lady. hilarious nonetheless!! She was talking to NOBODY...Thin air! I shouldn't be making a mockery of the delusional old crows of new york but I can't help it. She is a prime example of why people should NOT try to make an infinite living in NYC. Come here, garner a nice little living, gain experience and get the heck out. It's not a place to raise a family or grow old in. It's just too complex. UNLESS you have the money. Money is like a warm blanket here.Listen carefully!

I watched Zeitgeist2 which is primarily about the unjust monetary system. I had to re watch the first 30 minutes over and over to really take in the information and understand it, but once I put the pieces together I realized how sick this country is. I don't think Canada is much better but we likely got bullied into joining the masses. Watch that documentary. It's frightening. Money is worse than all the military weapons across the world combined. Watch it and see why!!! The first Zeitgeist is great too... it is instead based on religion and equally as shocking. DOWN WITH JESUS!... I'm kidding... but I really am not an advocate of religion. I think the whole thing is totally fallacious... derived solely from MYTH. ANCIENT GREEK MYTHOLOGY IS GOVERNING OUR LIVES. I guess to understand you must WATCH. Sometimes I think ignorance really is bliss and if it cant be changed its almost better off unexamined but I can't help my curiosity. I want to know why we function the way we do as mankind.

I am sitting in the Astor place Starbucks. I love this location. It's big so there is always people in here circulating doing the exact same thing as me. A cute boy in full on biking gear sat two seats down and played around on his cell phone. I kept staring without even REALIZING it. I stare at everyone and half the time I don't even catch myself doing it until I get a weird look back. It's funny because I went to relocate to a comfy chair that came available ONLY because my battery was dying and I needed the nearby outlet tp plug in my comp...otherwise i would have been too lazy...but just as I approached the seat some guy took it. I politely asked him if he minded surrendering his comfy chair so i could use the outlet and so we switched spots. 10 minutes later he approached me and in MY arrogant head i thought "oh here we go, he's going to ask me where I'm from and try and engage in conversation and I'm going to have to politely ignore his advances and seem much too busy to chat" BUT to my surprise he instead said "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude or anything but I feel like you pulled a fast one on me because there is an outlet right by where you were sitting, I don't mind giving up my chair for a lady but you could have been honest in your request". I was SHOCKED. What this twat did not realize is that my cord didn't reach the outlet he was talking about so I HAD to move. Instead of apologizing I marched down to where he was sitting and held my cord out to prove it was just too short to reach. He obviously felt like an idiot and had nothing good in response. What a jackass! I almost put on a big production to really make him feel stupid but I realized there was nothing to gain in doing that so I nuzzled down in my COMFY chair instead... I'm sure the image of my relaxation pissed him off enough. haha!

so I'm headed out for martinis in SoHo tonight... really outta go get ready...

happy Friday kids...