I got rejected from entering the United States last night. I am doing all I can not to fall apart. It is times like these that really test my ability to persevere. I honestly did not expect something like this to happen to me. I was far too confident and naive and I ended up paying the royal price for it. Not only am I stuck in Canada with all my belongings in New York, I am now no longer allowed into the united states without filing for a waiver which costs 595 $ and takes 160 days to process for approval. I am a complete mess over this. I have so many friends in New York. I made myself a happy life there over the last little while and the entire empire is now crashing down before me. It is all so far out of my control too. I simply CANNOT go back. All I have left is my memories and all this electronic communication. I hate electronic communication although I almost love it just the same. It keeps me in touch, but in touch on such a cold almost anonymous level. All of a sudden I am identifying people by Times New Roman or Comic Sans. Its sad.
I cant argue the situation either, which I am by and large pretty good at. I am wholly responsible for my unlawful conduct within the united states and my artless ruse on the Government now has the walls of my circus tent caving in.
EFF
My next move is to surf the couches of Ottawa for awhile until I get my belongings back from NYC. From there I supposed Ill move to Toronto. I just do not see a better option.
Its all about the music. Lest I forget the music, the HOLY GRAIL. Bane of my existence all the same. Why couldnt I be passionate about something that actually feels attainable.
DAMN
back out into the wilderness to chop down trees of a different soil...
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